Day Seven Forty Days of Focus: Relationship

Parent - Child Relationships are very important. But what's good parenting look like? Deuteronomy 6 teaches us that the parents are primarily responsible for teaching their children about the things of God. They are expected to pass on what it means to know, love and serve a living God. It can seem a bit overwhelming to be a parent who is responsible to God for raising kids who know Him. How do you do that? Deuteronomy says to talk about God's truth regularly, often and in the context of life. In our family we pass this on to our kids by setting the following standard: (1) Learn to be independent of your parents. (2) Learn to be dependent on God. (3) Learn to take responsibility for your actions. Independence from your parents looks like this: We don't do things for our kids that they should be able to do themselves. They may not want to do it, but it's time for them to step out and learn to do it on their own. This includes clearing and doing the dishes every night. It means the older kids have to figure out their own way to the carpool pick-up spot. It means small kids have to learn to eat foods they don't like, pick-up the toys that they get out and stop when I say far enough while we're on a walk. There are dozens of applications like this, but the common factor is that they need to learn throughout daily activities that they are responsible to do the right thing even when I'm not looking. Dependence on God looks like this: When our kids have a problem that seems to big for them and they come to us as parents to solve it for them, we often ask them if they have talked to God and asked Him for help yet. It also includes transferring the principles of "Independence from your parents" to dependence on God. When I teach my kids to say, "Yes Dad," even when they don't want to they will find it much easier to say, "Yes God," when they are older. In the same way, when I teach them to stop cold when they hear, "far enough," they will find it much easier to stop running from God when He tells them (often through the written word)where the boundaries are. Much of what we do in teaching "independence from your parents" is designed to be transferred to dependence on God. Think of it as God giving you an opportunity as parents to fill His shoes in your kid's life until they are ready to let Him be their spiritual father. It's like you as the parent are the milk and He as God is the meat. To the extent that they learn to love and obey you, they may one day be successful at loving and obeying God. Take Responsibility for your Actions looks like this: No making excuses. Because we are broken, we make mistakes. Some of our mistakes stem from a bad attitude and become bad action. Other mistakes are from ignorance and produce wrong actions. Whether they are an accident or from a wrong attitude, they are a mirror that tells us who we are. Wrong actions are the reason we need a Savior. The bible calls these wrong actions sins. No matter our intentions, we need to own our part in the brokenness of our world. When we take responsibility for our actions we will find that we can then appreciate grace and forgiveness because we know we need it. We can also learn to change some of the things that cause us to sin so that we begin to become more Christlike and replace sin with righteousness.