Single for Life?

Have you ever seen a single person and thought, "they should be married by now?" Does it bother anyone that Pastor Marc is not married yet? As soon as he stepped off the plane at least twenty women in this congregation were ready to find him a wife. You may have found yourself asking, “what’s his problem?”

We are often uncomfortable with singleness. In our culture we asume there are only two categories for people: those who are in a relationship and those who are looking for one. But is this Biblical? I’d like to show you why it is not.

Matthew 19:1-12
1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." 10 The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." 11 Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Notice, Jesus never contradicted the conclusion of the disciples’, “it is better not to marry.” Instead He gave a new teaching about the gift of singleness for life.

Here Jesus teaches us that there are some among us that are not better off married. If they marry, they will actually suffer for it. What about you?

If you are married, think about how you treat those who are single. Do you pity them? Do you put pressure on them to marry?
If you are single, have you considered staying single for life? Is it your desire to marry? Have you considered the benefits of staying single?

Text: 1 Cor. 7
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

vv. 1-2 teach us that marriage is better than immorality, but not better than being single. It is better to marry than to burn with passion.

v. 7 teaches us that each person is wired by God to be single or married. If single life is your gift, enjoy it. If married life is your gift, enjoy it.

v. 32-35 teaches us that the gift of single life is freedom and service.

Is it better to marry or stay single? Neither.
It is best to celebrate who God made you to be. There is an upside and a downside to both.

Single people are more productive and can enjoy more individual freedom. Married people are more balanced and their cravings more satisfied.

How do I know if I’m supposed to be single right now?

Are you content? Has God brought anyone into your life?
Have you learned how to be single minded for Christ?
Have you learned to submit to Christ? If not, how will you submit to a fallen human?
Happy, healthy singles make happy healthy marrieds.

1. Don’t assume you should marry. Let God make that decision. The best way to find your wife is along life’s way.
2. Don’t think marriage will solve any of your problems. It will only magnify them. If you have no self control as a single person, you won’t as a married person either. If you are lonely as a single person, you will be lonely married too. If you don’t like yourself, you spouse will likely learn not to like you as well.
3. Happiness is not connected to what you have. It’s only possible when you have nothing. Once you have learned to die to self and live for Christ, you will find happiness. Happiness is being free to enjoy what God has given you. He created you and has a plan that is perfect for you. If it is marriage. Enjoy. If it is single life, enjoy. Married or single it makes no difference. What matters is are you in God’s will?

Whether you are married or single you should be happy with the lot God has given you and choose to celebrate it as God’s perfect gift to you.

As a congregation, we need to learn to celebrate the single people in our body. They are the ones who have been given the greater gift for the body; single mindedness for the Kingdom.