Biblical Man
Last Week I made a bold statement. I said men were created to lead and women to follow. I was able to be bold because the Bible is Bold. If you were offended by this statement, chances are you don’t understand the Biblical definition of leadership and following.
This morning we are going to discover Biblical Manhood. I am going to provide you with a picture of what it looks like to lead God’s way. Next week we will discover Biblical Woman and paint a picture of what it means to follow.
Our text this morning is from Ephesians chapter 5 where we find a description of the role men fill in marriage.
Text: Ephesians 5:25-33
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Body:
(In this passage we are reminded once again what is at stake in finding unity between men and women. Our world understands the trinity, the church and the savior through the example of godly men and women. If we don’t live out the biblical truth that men lead and women follow, we will build barriers that keep others from discovering who God is).
v. 25 “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” This is what leadership looks like.
The Greek word for love here is agape, not eros or phileo. Agape love is the loyal, selfless, committed, supernatural love that we can have for our wives because God demonstrates it to us and the Holy Spirit gives us power to pass it on.
Mark 10:42-45
42 Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Before sin, there was only one way that Adam could lead Eve. It was through love and sacrifice. It’s all Adam knew and it’s all Eve wanted. It worked. Thanks to sin, there is now another way to lead and that’s by lording your advantage over another. So, there is leading by loving and leading by lording. According to our passage today, there can be no doubt that leading by loving is the pattern God intends us men to follow.
Women instinctively know this. They are drawn to this type of leadership. It pulls them.
Men, our pattern is Jesus Christ. We are to die to self and sacrifice our needs and desires for our wife. If you are not prepared to die, you are not leading the way God designed. Your leadership will do more harm than good and you will not be demonstrating God’s truth to the world. There are few things more destructive than a man who dominates his wife and uses the Bible to justify it.
What does it mean to die? When will I have to die? Though the idea of death in this passage certainly includes physical death, that’s the easy part. It is more difficult for us guys to die to our hunger than it is for us to sacrifice our life. Paul chooses not to use an example of a man dying in battle for his wife. Instead he says feed her and care for her needs like they were your own. The biggest obstacle to our being leaders is our fondness for ourselves. That is why Paul says in v.28-30 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body.
Men and women have no problem clashing. When they do, someone must give. Guys, that’s you. Don’t you dare play the “I’m the leader, you have to listen card.” Die to self. Be crucified like Jesus for your woman.
Now you may be thinking, wait a minute. All my defenses down, dying to self, sacrificing; she’ll make my life misery. Next thing you know, I’ll be driving a pink car, watching romantic comedies, doing all the housework and changing all the diapers. I don’t think I can do that.
Here’s where faith comes in. Do you trust God’s Word? Do you believe that God knows what He’s doing? If so, not to worry. Here’s the incredible part. God not only designed women to be drawn to men who lead by loving, but he designed them so that their response is to want to serve you. Men, if you lead by loving your wife she will sing your praises. She’ll brag on you, cook your favorite food and give you all the sex you want. She’ll anticipate your needs before you do and you’ll be blessed.
God wired her that way when he made her. But it starts with you. You have to love your woman before she will be free to serve you. That means you have to stop trying to make her meet your needs and just love her. She’ll take care of the rest.
Close:
I want to close by giving you a more complete picture of what it looks like to be a leader-lover because I know some of you still don’t get it. Here’s 7 things every woman longs for from her man:
1. Tenderness. Flowers. Gentle words. Gentle touch. No harshness. She will bloom only when the environment is nurturing.
2. Esteem. Men hunt. We hunt for clothes, for food, for cheap gas, and we hunt for a woman. When we find a woman we like, the hunt is on. That’s when men do crazy things. We’ll spend every dime we have, stay up way too late, watch movies we don’t even like. We can be funny, witty and focused, all in pursuit of a woman. But when we get her the chase is over. She becomes a trophy like and elk hanging on the wall in the den. Men, she let you catch her because she wanted another 50 years of that kind of attention. If you’ve already got her, don’t stop chasing.
3. Companionship. Two girls go to the bathroom together. Why? Women love companionship. They don’t get excited about doing things for you. They want to do things with you. HOBBIES.
Vacuum story.
4. Romance. Guys, romance is not a synonym for Sex! Show affection without fondling. Often a woman wants to experience your touch and your affection without it leading to anything else. BACKRUBS, WATER, READING, THOUGHTFULNESS.
5. Listening. Women have a lot to say. They dream of saying it to you. Guys are visual, women are relational. Men, as much as you are attracted to beautiful women, women are attracted to attentive men. TV at dinner out. LISTEN WITH YOUR FACE.
6. Security.
Not Lazy.
Not Angry.
Not Wondering.
NO FEAR. Safest place on earth should be wherever you are at.
7. Time.
Date Night.
Availability all day.
Family vacations.
Days Off.
This morning we are going to discover Biblical Manhood. I am going to provide you with a picture of what it looks like to lead God’s way. Next week we will discover Biblical Woman and paint a picture of what it means to follow.
Our text this morning is from Ephesians chapter 5 where we find a description of the role men fill in marriage.
Text: Ephesians 5:25-33
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Body:
(In this passage we are reminded once again what is at stake in finding unity between men and women. Our world understands the trinity, the church and the savior through the example of godly men and women. If we don’t live out the biblical truth that men lead and women follow, we will build barriers that keep others from discovering who God is).
v. 25 “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” This is what leadership looks like.
The Greek word for love here is agape, not eros or phileo. Agape love is the loyal, selfless, committed, supernatural love that we can have for our wives because God demonstrates it to us and the Holy Spirit gives us power to pass it on.
Mark 10:42-45
42 Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Before sin, there was only one way that Adam could lead Eve. It was through love and sacrifice. It’s all Adam knew and it’s all Eve wanted. It worked. Thanks to sin, there is now another way to lead and that’s by lording your advantage over another. So, there is leading by loving and leading by lording. According to our passage today, there can be no doubt that leading by loving is the pattern God intends us men to follow.
Women instinctively know this. They are drawn to this type of leadership. It pulls them.
Men, our pattern is Jesus Christ. We are to die to self and sacrifice our needs and desires for our wife. If you are not prepared to die, you are not leading the way God designed. Your leadership will do more harm than good and you will not be demonstrating God’s truth to the world. There are few things more destructive than a man who dominates his wife and uses the Bible to justify it.
What does it mean to die? When will I have to die? Though the idea of death in this passage certainly includes physical death, that’s the easy part. It is more difficult for us guys to die to our hunger than it is for us to sacrifice our life. Paul chooses not to use an example of a man dying in battle for his wife. Instead he says feed her and care for her needs like they were your own. The biggest obstacle to our being leaders is our fondness for ourselves. That is why Paul says in v.28-30 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body.
Men and women have no problem clashing. When they do, someone must give. Guys, that’s you. Don’t you dare play the “I’m the leader, you have to listen card.” Die to self. Be crucified like Jesus for your woman.
Now you may be thinking, wait a minute. All my defenses down, dying to self, sacrificing; she’ll make my life misery. Next thing you know, I’ll be driving a pink car, watching romantic comedies, doing all the housework and changing all the diapers. I don’t think I can do that.
Here’s where faith comes in. Do you trust God’s Word? Do you believe that God knows what He’s doing? If so, not to worry. Here’s the incredible part. God not only designed women to be drawn to men who lead by loving, but he designed them so that their response is to want to serve you. Men, if you lead by loving your wife she will sing your praises. She’ll brag on you, cook your favorite food and give you all the sex you want. She’ll anticipate your needs before you do and you’ll be blessed.
God wired her that way when he made her. But it starts with you. You have to love your woman before she will be free to serve you. That means you have to stop trying to make her meet your needs and just love her. She’ll take care of the rest.
Close:
I want to close by giving you a more complete picture of what it looks like to be a leader-lover because I know some of you still don’t get it. Here’s 7 things every woman longs for from her man:
1. Tenderness. Flowers. Gentle words. Gentle touch. No harshness. She will bloom only when the environment is nurturing.
2. Esteem. Men hunt. We hunt for clothes, for food, for cheap gas, and we hunt for a woman. When we find a woman we like, the hunt is on. That’s when men do crazy things. We’ll spend every dime we have, stay up way too late, watch movies we don’t even like. We can be funny, witty and focused, all in pursuit of a woman. But when we get her the chase is over. She becomes a trophy like and elk hanging on the wall in the den. Men, she let you catch her because she wanted another 50 years of that kind of attention. If you’ve already got her, don’t stop chasing.
3. Companionship. Two girls go to the bathroom together. Why? Women love companionship. They don’t get excited about doing things for you. They want to do things with you. HOBBIES.
Vacuum story.
4. Romance. Guys, romance is not a synonym for Sex! Show affection without fondling. Often a woman wants to experience your touch and your affection without it leading to anything else. BACKRUBS, WATER, READING, THOUGHTFULNESS.
5. Listening. Women have a lot to say. They dream of saying it to you. Guys are visual, women are relational. Men, as much as you are attracted to beautiful women, women are attracted to attentive men. TV at dinner out. LISTEN WITH YOUR FACE.
6. Security.
Not Lazy.
Not Angry.
Not Wondering.
NO FEAR. Safest place on earth should be wherever you are at.
7. Time.
Date Night.
Availability all day.
Family vacations.
Days Off.
posted by pastordan at 11:09 PM
3 Comments:
Great Job Dan! Keep them comming!
Thanks for that word. I needed to read it and it will help my new marriage
Brother, if more men were man enough to make that statement in their homes, there would be less of them broken!
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